Any time someone tells me I can’t do something, I feel a strange rebellious mirth bubble up from my gut.

Oh yeah? Just try me.

The next thing I know I’ve locked my jaw into whatever the insurmountable task is, ripping chunks out of it until it’s pulp. That’s how I roll. I’m assuming that reverse psychology commonly garners that exact reaction.

The problem is when someone says ‘Hey, you can’t eat that poutine’, I lock horns with that too. Ten minutes and a cheese-coma later… Now you see why I’ve been dreading the commitment to the Whole 30, which we start tomorrow.

Here is a link to the Whole 30 site where you can learn a ton more– but basically, that means no dairy, no booze, no grains (including pseudo-grains like quinoa), no legumes, and no white potatoes. There are a few other rules, but the initial kibosh on all my favourites had me staggering around in painful anticipation and breaking into cold sweats.

We’ve been working hard around here.

I needed to make sure that when I did commit, it was all positive motivation so I didn’t rebel randomly and start gargling with cheese.

We’ve been systematically removing sugars and dairy and carbs from our diets so that the first day of our Whole 30 adventure won’t be such a shock. Today is the last day of indulgence – we’re having sushi and wine. And they taste all the more glorious knowing that they are the final treats to be savoured. Kind of like training wheels about to come off.

Why am I doing this?

You know I have an (some) autoimmune condition(s). That means I have my great days, and I have my flare days. Those days suck. I don’t have energy, my joints swell, my digestive system is usually out of whack on both ends, and I can’t be the active person I want to be.

I also don’t want to be popping pills for the rest of my life.

Right now I’m on immunosuppressants, steroids, and a few other things that keep me ‘healthy’ in the day-to-day. I would be very happy if I could take even ½ of what I have to choke down, and if I could get there through diet alone I would.

I’ve tried elimination diets before, but I’ve never said goodbye to grain completely, or nightshades, or legumes. I’ve cut sugar out, but then slammed right back into it Wyle E. Coyote style as soon as my detox was over.

I don’t care about losing weight— I want to lose pain.

I’m not expecting a miracle. I’m not expecting a month without any symptoms or for my symptoms to all of a sudden *poof* disappear— but I AM giving myself a chance to reset, to eat clean, and to see what happens to those symptoms.

I’m going to be posting everyday —or trying to— for the 30 days that I’m doing this, and I’ll be writing about my energy, cravings, and autoimmune experiences. It might not be pretty. It might be downright cranky. I have no clue. But it will be mine and that will feel amazing because it took a long time to cozy up to this commitment.

Yes, it’s only 30 days, but what if I can’t do it? What if I mess up? What if I break down and inhale a DQ Blizzard at day 23? Worse, what if I realize that I have been eating something with an obscure sulphite in it, or on the ‘NOT APPROVED’ list the entire time?! NIGHTMARE.

These are just glimpses into my OCD mind— the quadruple checking and cross-referencing from ingredients on the label to Whole 30 cheat sheets and back again have had me racked with anxiety.

Here’s what it took to make me commit.

1. I spent 3 months flirting with the concept of Paleo and Auto Immune Protocol diets in my browser like it was porn.
2. I casually asked my super smart fitness and wellness friends as well as doctors about them.
3. I looked at Paleo and Whole 30 recipes and introduced maybe 1 a week just to see if I could cook, comply, and enjoy the foods (and to see what my kids think).
4. I started trickling back into Belly Bootcamp for my workouts, and if I couldn’t make it I would do squat tabatas and bursts of cardio at home.
5. I introduced 2 more recipes a week to my arsenal.
6. I started feeling pretty good about some of the foods and recipes and they occasionally started making appearances in my social media channels with hesitant hashtags like #fitmom #paleo #BBresults
7. I started reading inspirational posts and stories with uplifting results from my friends who also have Crohn’s or other immune issues, and finally floated the idea to do the Whole 30 to the family.

Almost 5 months of research later, we finally made the decision to commit for the month of June, 2015.

Wish us luck — Day 1’s report comes tomorrow!
xo