A Song For Them

Today, October 15, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

As you all know, I’ve had my own journey through loss and I’ve shared almost every step. After lots of help and compassion from those around me, I found my voice and opened dialogue around miscarriages and fertility issues, and I’m proud of it.

But too often we think that we’ve healed when we can be noisy again. When we can talk openly about our pain or our memories—and that’s simply not true.

Today, my son is 6 weeks old. My daughter is bliss personified.

But my heart tugs softly at the corners of my mind and I still swallow hard.

I carry others in my heart, and I always will.

And I will always be here to listen to the messages they bring.

Here is my song to them today.

It’s the silence that follows that deafens us.

It’s the waking from a dream to a nightmare.

Eyes averted, apologies, and “meant to be’s”

Wash away the footholds

That once clearly marked our path together.

Always a reminder, you are a gentle memory

That has the power to shatter worlds.

I will always remember the hint of you.

I will always pause to look from your open door.

There will always be a ‘what if’ that lingers softly—

Because I was once and always will be

For both a glimpse and an eternity

Your mother, my darling.